TT2000 2025 or “Holes, the avoidance of”

There are times when I really wonder if there’s a little bit of my brain dedicated to self-sabotage, and gazing at the backend of my Spyder sticking out of a ditch was one of those times.

It had all started so well.  The subject of this year’s checkpoints was community halls, something that there’s an abundance of dotted across South Island New Zealand.   Even better, there was a ‘Hall Hunter’ option where you could visit any halls you liked, they just needed to have a sign with the place name and be “open”.  The definition of open was a little vague, but I decided if I could find phone number to book them then that would do.  The start point is Greymouth and the finish is Milton but otherwise we can wander where we like.

This was going to be my tenth TT2000, so I decided that my real self-set challenge was to include some places and roads I’d not been before. It didn’t take long to plan a suitable route with 60 halls that totalled just above the minimum 2000kms.  As a bonus the first night I’d be in my own bed and have the whole thing wrapped up on the Saturday evening in Milton, just needing to ride a few metres to the finish on the Sunday morning before heading home.

Three days until the start and someone posts on the distance riders group that there are major road works following a slip on SH6.  The highway will be closed for 45 minutes on the hour. This blocks the only route to the north of the South Island from the West Coast.  A lot of the riders decide to risk it anyway but for me sitting in a long queue of traffic, particularly on the first day, is going to spoil the relaxed vibe I wanted. A quick look at the map and I decide to swing through Lewis Pass and head up the east coast first instead, longer but stress free.  I don’t have time to do this all properly in mapping software so just fiddle with the route on my GPS, after all what could go wrong.

Arriving in Greymouth and straight away spot some familiar faces staying at the same motel.  There’s Andrew and Glenda here for their third TT.  I am always in awe of them because on their first TT they had to put up with punctures, torrential rain, and grumpy hotel owners - think Basil Fawlty but without the charm.  Stuff that would put most people off forever, but here they were yet again ready for this year’s adventure and on a couple of lovely looking bikes as well. Later I spot a very familiar XJ900 parked up which can only mean that Phil is also around.  Sure enough he soon appears, cup of tea in hand, but almost immediately our conversation derailed by the arrival of a car full of inebriated bowls players and never gets back on track.  He’s on his 11th TT this year.

There’s a meet-up with all the riders at the local bar that evening and when the conversation turns to routes, I provide yet again my unfailing inability to remember names, in this case the names of places. I can picture them, and know where they are on a map, but when I go to say the name it just evaporates like mist.

Next morning - pack up, fill the tank to brimming, drink my last coffee of the weekend and head to the start point. I rock up a couple of hours before the start but there’s already plenty of other riders there with more turning up by the minute. More catching up with people including Ken a Goldwing rider who I’d not met before but who it turns out lives just up the road from me. He’s done plenty of TT’s in the past but had a bit of a gap, but when you’ve caught the TT bug you tend to relapse. 

Just as I’m getting fidgety it’s time for the midday briefing, then everyone is back to their bikes, gearing up and heading out.

I’m never keen on riding the Spyder in a group of bikes as the way it handles is so different. To avoid ‘the pack’ I’ve added a couple of more obscure halls to start to let most of the bikes get ahead of me.  The first is Runanga Miners Hall, I’d last visited Runganga it was in a very sorry state, so it was fantastic to find it had been fully restored in the last year or so.  Its sign is just as important today as it was back in 1910. 

After this was Dobson, followed by three of the mystery checkpoints which were only a few km’s apart. Every TT there’s several Mystery checkpoints that are worth extra points if you can find them.  I had managed to track down all ten this year, and visited most of them beforehand to make sure, but because of my last-minute route change I’ll only get to see eight of them on this ride.

From there it’s up to Oddfellows Hall in Reefton. The next hall, and first fuel stop, is two hours away in Waiau and so it’s time to just enjoy the fantastic scenery and twisting road through Lewis Pass.  Even better there’s virtually no traffic and the odd slow vehicle I do catch up with is quickly dispatched. The road from Waiau to Kaikoura is another belter, and one of my regular favourites, again I get lucky and have the road to myself. 

I was enjoying that ride so much that when my GPS suddenly tells me to turn-left down a road I’ve never been before I blindly follow its directions. Even when the road turns from tarmac to dirt I’m not fussed, but after another couple of km’s this opens up to a braded river. The only way forward is through a ford.  I have crossed streams plenty of times before, but this one looks a bit different.  It’s a lot wider, a proper river not just a stream.   Down-stream there’s a small waterfall, and up-stream the waters obviously going over some big rocks, but the ford itself looks smooth. The water is running fast though and because of that I can’t see how deep it is.  I grab a stick and poke as far as I can reach and it doesn’t seem that deep, though definitely fast flowing.

So, I rev up and take the plunge.  At first, it’s fine, but two thirds in and the water suddenly gets deeper. It’s lapping around my boots. The engine is struggling.  Then I being to feel the Spyder ‘bounce’, first the backend, then the front.  There is definitely a sideways drift taking me downstream, though I’m still also moving raggedly forwards. I open the throttle to full and it almost stalls but then struggles onwards.  The engine is running really rough now. Finally, my front wheels hit the far bank and after moments delay the Spyder struggles up and out of water.  I stop for a minute to let both the engine and my heart to return to normal tick over, each from different directions. The riverbank becomes a dirt track and then finally back to tarmac, and promise myself that will be the last bit of off-roading on this TT – it will turn out though that my GPS will have other ideas.

 My plan from here is to head straight up SH1 to Blenheim, visit four halls around there including one of the mysteries, before heading back down SH1 to home stopping off at more checkpoints on the way.  But when I get to Weld pass, just south of Blenheim, there’s a sign saying that SH1 will close at this point at 7pm and will not re-open until 6am.  The suggested alternative route is SH6 on the west coast – the road I’d come this way to avoid.

As its now 5:40pm I only have enough time to nip through and visit the one mystery checkpoint, fill up with gas, and then turn back the way I’d come.  Fortunately, after that there are no more surprises I manage to visit the rest of my planned halls before arriving at home after 11 hours of riding.

The 5:30am the next morning and I’m back on the bike and heading for the first hall.   There’s a lot of riding to do today, and 36 halls to visit, as I head southwards. For the first part of the morning its heavy fog inland but clear on the coast. My route tends to follow the coast with the occasional loop inland and so most of the time I’m riding in the sun.  I’ve carefully planned my route to also avoid SH1 until I get to Timaru, I’ve even managed to avoid Ashburton which is a definite bonus as the traffics always painful through there.  Timaru, Oamaru, Dunedin, all pass without incident, with the countryside looking gorgeous in the bright sunshine.

By midday the Spyder saying the temperate is 28C and its certainly feels like it. Most of the time its fine as my jacket has plenty of vents to let the air through, but when I stop at traffic lights, I notice the heat of the sun.

Around 1pm I arrive at Milton and quickly nip into the motel to pick up my room key as I’ll not be back here until much later.  I also take the opportunity to fill up my ‘camel’ backpack. This carries 2 litres of water which I drink through a tube and keep myself topped up even while riding.

The next hall after my pit stop at Milton is at Waitahuna.  This route turns out to be a wonderful, tightly winding, road which I definitely want to ride again.

From there my GPS decided I really needed to do some more gravel road riding, what’s more it obviously then got itself lost as it kept changing its mind mid-junction.  At one point I arrived at the same crossroads but from a different direction after riding several kms.

Eventually I ended up on Greenfield Road which was better than some previous ones though still gravel, but just as I went past Puketi Road the GPS suddenly decided I should take that instead.  No problem, I’ll just do a three-point turn and head down that.  I do the first turn so I’m facing the edge of the road, stick it into reverse, look behind me, open it up as it always needs plenty of revs to move in reverse, only for the Spyder to shoot forwards instead.  I jam on the brakes, and stop right on the edge – just as I’m thinking its ok the ditch edge crumbles and the Spyder topples in. Sod.

I have a good look but there’s no way I’m going to be able to sort this myself.  One front wheel is kind of ok but the other had dropped right in, the Spyder is balanced precariously.

I sit down, get helmet and jacket off, and swear for a bit.  I sit there hoping that someone will come along with a ute and a tow rope but the road seems deserted.  

I thought I had spotted a house a little way back as I was riding along so decide to walk to that. Its blisteringly hot now and even without my jacket on I’m soon drenched in sweat which the dust from the road is sticking to.  

Fortunately, someone’s at home and isn’t scared to find a sticky dirt monster at their door.  When we head back to the Spyder with a ute we quickly work out that whichever way we pull it out we’ll end up doing some damage.  My savour then say’s they’ve got a better idea and disappear off again…and a few minutes later return with a tractor. It doesn’t take long before the Spyder is back on the road. Even better a quick check over shows no damage at all – well except to my ego.

My saviour then asks where I’m headed, and I explain that I’m heading for Clutha Valley hall.  “Well just stick on Greenfield Road and it will take you straight there”. There had been no reason for me to try and turnaround in the first place. Then to make it worse, as soon as I turn the next corner I’m back on tarmac and at the same time the GPS sorts itself out.  If I’d just gone 50m more none of this need happen.

From here I manage the rest of the days ride without drama, though not without my GPS taking me on further unnecessary gravel road excursions.  Eventually I arrive back in Milton around 9:30pm, and after taking a photo of the hall there I’m very very ready for bed.

Originally I had planned to have enough km’s at this point so I would only need to go to the finish point on Sunday morning, but with the changes to the route on Friday it had left me short. So, I quickly worked out a route with four more halls on it which should get me roughly enough.  Yet again by GPS decided that I wanted to visit all these places going via dirt roads, even when there was quite acceptable tarmac one’s going the same places.

I really wasn’t sure if this route would give me enough kms, but as I headed back to Milton I noticed that the distance I needed to do, and the distance my GPS said was remaining, matched.  20km, 15km, 10km, 5km, 1km it kept matching all the way.  As I pulled up at the finish point my speed clicked over to exactly 2000km.  Previously I’d always been way over, this was the first time doing exactly 2000, and that was despite all the late minute route change and other distractions.  I’ll take that as the special achievement for this 10th TT – and try and forget the ditch.

I wonder what the 11th will throw my way?